Monday, January 29, 2007
will have time to blog...soon
been super super busy. went up to big bear this weekend, went to SD last weekend, going to disneyland this weekend with isang's highschool bestfriend, superbowl party on sunday, work's busy busy. so i'll blog about feelings and such later on if i can ever find the time anymore. but i will definitely post pics from the big bear trip soon...meanwhile check out the pics i took at SD. hope everyone is well.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
can i handle the seasons of my life
the weather sucks, and so does my day. actually my week. yes, even with christmas and all.
vaughn has not done his business for a few days, so we had to resort to some procedure involving glycerine suppositories. i never thought mark and i would be so happy to see and smell s!@#t, literally. so i thought that was the end of life's miseries but then we got sick...all three of us. saying "appy olliddayz ehbrywond" because u have a too stuffy nose is no fun. no, not at all.
yesterday i felt like my head's gonna explode even if i bombarded myself with vitamin c and theraflu. damn cold. i don't get sick as often but when i do, it hits me hard. poor vaughn has not had breastmilk for three days now. and he got the cold -- when i hear his labored breathing i just want to die. is there a magic pill that can take all this sickness away?
i came in to work today and of course, there's a problem with the same thing we've been dealing with for two weeks now. wtf. and i still haven't sent my christmas cards, i went to michaels to do an exchange, the cards i wanted weren't there anymore. it started to rain so i decided to buy an umbrella at target (i don't want my cold to get worse), $18 for a damn umbrella. and when i went outside, the rain stopped. yes, dramatic irony.
so i'm hoping all these events are not previews of what 2007 will be. i feel like the cogs in the wheel of my life are not thoroughly in sync. do you sometimes feel that way? maybe i'm just fatigued from the holiday rush, maybe i need to get more sleep, maybe i need to do the things i want to do. there doesn't seem to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them per jim croce. i want to read my tuesdays with morrie book, i want to read to vaughn and have him play with all the toys he got from everybody for christmas, i want to upload tons of pics on my multiply, i want to see my sisters and chika and have a fashion show of all the clothes they got for christmas, i want to call friends and have hour long chats, i want to go to SD and visit lori and damon, i want to go snowboarding because there's at least one good thing that comes out from sucky weather and that's good snow, i want i want i want. as cliche as it sounds, "every cloud has a silver lining" and that is, i can still blog and bitch about how much my life is sucking. at least i have that. hahahahahahahahaha!
vaughn has not done his business for a few days, so we had to resort to some procedure involving glycerine suppositories. i never thought mark and i would be so happy to see and smell s!@#t, literally. so i thought that was the end of life's miseries but then we got sick...all three of us. saying "appy olliddayz ehbrywond" because u have a too stuffy nose is no fun. no, not at all.
yesterday i felt like my head's gonna explode even if i bombarded myself with vitamin c and theraflu. damn cold. i don't get sick as often but when i do, it hits me hard. poor vaughn has not had breastmilk for three days now. and he got the cold -- when i hear his labored breathing i just want to die. is there a magic pill that can take all this sickness away?
i came in to work today and of course, there's a problem with the same thing we've been dealing with for two weeks now. wtf. and i still haven't sent my christmas cards, i went to michaels to do an exchange, the cards i wanted weren't there anymore. it started to rain so i decided to buy an umbrella at target (i don't want my cold to get worse), $18 for a damn umbrella. and when i went outside, the rain stopped. yes, dramatic irony.
so i'm hoping all these events are not previews of what 2007 will be. i feel like the cogs in the wheel of my life are not thoroughly in sync. do you sometimes feel that way? maybe i'm just fatigued from the holiday rush, maybe i need to get more sleep, maybe i need to do the things i want to do. there doesn't seem to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them per jim croce. i want to read my tuesdays with morrie book, i want to read to vaughn and have him play with all the toys he got from everybody for christmas, i want to upload tons of pics on my multiply, i want to see my sisters and chika and have a fashion show of all the clothes they got for christmas, i want to call friends and have hour long chats, i want to go to SD and visit lori and damon, i want to go snowboarding because there's at least one good thing that comes out from sucky weather and that's good snow, i want i want i want. as cliche as it sounds, "every cloud has a silver lining" and that is, i can still blog and bitch about how much my life is sucking. at least i have that. hahahahahahahahaha!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
have you seen Mean Girls?
you know how when rachel mcaddam's character got pissed at lindsay lohan's character and then she lets out this ear piercing scream? yes, that part of the movie. well i just did that a couple of minutes ago -- out of frustration. if you want something done RIGHT, you have to do it yourself! aaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! nuff said!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
panic level = 200%
what the hell...christmas is in two days and i'm still not done wrapping presents, sending out cards (haven't even started this yet), i desperately want to update my online photo album of vaughn, and i haven't seen my family in two weeks. sigh! work is a sonofabitch. i wish i'd win the lottery so i won't have to work. don't get me wrong, i don't hate my job and my co workers are awesome -- it's just that if i was given a choice between working and staying home to take care of vaughn, i'd pick the latter. hahahaha, i never thought these words (written or otherwise) would come out of my mouth. a human being's ability to morph into a complete stranger never ceases to amaze me. anyway, i just thought i'd rant about random stuff. oh yea, mark made a snowboarding video a few days back. it's too funny! turn it up and watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNi5GYxDPcs
and since i'm too busy to upload, i'll mooch off my sisters and my friends who have already posted pics on their sites that i should've posted on mine:
ella's bday party at lake o'neal (isa)
ella's bday (ate kate)
lia and ryan's despedida (going away) party
and with that i bid everybody adieux. the ham-induced-coma-season is upon us, happy holidays everyone!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNi5GYxDPcs
and since i'm too busy to upload, i'll mooch off my sisters and my friends who have already posted pics on their sites that i should've posted on mine:
ella's bday party at lake o'neal (isa)
ella's bday (ate kate)
lia and ryan's despedida (going away) party
and with that i bid everybody adieux. the ham-induced-coma-season is upon us, happy holidays everyone!
Monday, December 04, 2006
well i guess this is growing up
i got this email from tiff and got teary eyed -- man i'm becoming such a wuss =P
Being A Mom
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral."
I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the, primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!"will cause her to drop a souffle, or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she willbe going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about her self.That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not toaccomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this, most wonderful of callings.
(Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.)
Being A Mom
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral."
I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?"
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the, primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!"will cause her to drop a souffle, or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she willbe going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about her self.That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not toaccomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this, most wonderful of callings.
(Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.)
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