tuesday morning hilarity

suzette forwarded this to me. i rarely read forwards, but if it makes me chuckle or laugh out loud, it's definitely worth posting on my blog =)

p.s. if you don't speak our language, you'll be scratching your head on this one (i.e. how is this funny?). it's ok, it's not you, it's a culture thing =)

i've received a lot of grammatical/pronounciation error forwards but this one takes the cake! ~teray~

1. Use ADIEU in a sentence.
If you are ADIEU, you are from Israel.

2. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
(phone rings).....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?

3. Use AFFECT in a sentence.
Maria is wearing AFFECT diamond ring.

4. Use PAUL four times in a sentence.
PAUL, be care PAUL, you might PAUL in the swimming PAUL.

5. Use DELETION in a sentence.
The balat of DELETION is crispy.

6. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
At the gas station, some people PAMPERS and some PAPERS.

7. Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.

8. Use IRAQ , EGYPT , and IRAN in a sentence.
I threw IRAQ at EGYPT and then IRAN .

10. Use DEFLATE in a sentence.
Can you please wash DEFLATE for me?

11. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
Jack and Jill got married on Nov. 1, 1997. So on Nov. 1, 1998, they
are going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.

12. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE; first DEFEAT, and then DETAIL.

13. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
Every morning I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION.

14. Use FACT 3 times in a sentence . As a matter of FACT, the birds
cannot fly without FACT FACT!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!

roadblock roadblock

cliche but, when life hands you lemons they say make lemonade. but with what money? lol. this thing we're doing is a long and arduous process. so i need to be patient. so i'll make lemonade with whatever i have. liquidating funds are so not fun. but you do what you have to do -- i guess. so so so to anybody who owes me money, pony up! i need it. lol. ergo, real estate lesson #2 have enough funds to cover all the shit that you need to pay for. peace!

celebrity schmelebrity

I guess my niece will be super thrilled to know that i ran into miley cyrus today (she's hannah montana at the disney channel). didn't really recognize her at first but she was escorted by two people and she was rail thin like i can literally see her skeleton in her arms so i figured she must be some anorexic celebrity -- and then she started talking with her deep voice. i kinda glanced sideways and was shocked that i recognized her. lol. i guess cuz my niece loves her so much and watches her show all the time. otherwise i'm oblivious to everything around me. too much stuff to think about than gawk at supposedly famous people. but it can't be helped when you work in the entertainment industry, so here's a list of my celebrity run-ins from inception to date:

Jerry Seinfeld - dreamworks cafeteria

Jefferey Katzenberg - dreamworks cafeteria (one of the owners of Dreamworks SKG, he's the K)

Anthony Kiedis - red hot chili peppers front man zooming away in his ferrari from the parking lot across red rocks (no we were not chasing him, he was on his way out of the parking lot lol)

Pauly Shore - at the house of blues

Michael Douglas - I literally ran into him at the elevator at Universal Studios, didn't recognize him, mumbled I'm sorry and all my coworkers laughed at me for being so oblivious

Dancing with the stars hosts, everybody on dancing with the stars during Joey Fatone's season, the episode where Enrique Iglesias sang lol - I got picked to watch one of the final nights for dancing with the stars at our office lottery. Disney owns ABC so we can get VIP tickets for it but limited ra. Does this even count?? Since I went to see them it's not really an official run-in. but whatevs. It's my list and I can do what I want to lol.

Joaquin Phoenix - at the guitar center in hollywood

Juliette Lewis and whoever she's dating - I chatted with her while tasting boar's head cheese at the Ralph's in malibu. Ang again like the retard that I am, I didn't recognize her lol.

Ashley Tisdale - that highschool musical blonde, at our lobby

Miley Cyrus - hannah montana at our elevator

And I think I rode on the elevator with Zac Efron yesterday but I wasn't sure if it was him so it doesn't count lol.

Macy Gray - the singer, at a tennis match in staples

Venus and Serena Williams, Amelie Maresmo, Maria Sharapova etc. - we watched a women's tennis match at staples

The LA Clippers lol

Chyna - that woman wrestler, at the burbank target lol

Jennie Garth and her kids - at the burbank target, I guess this place is popular with celebrities lol

So far the only people I was real thrilled about running into was Juliette Lewis, Jerry Seinfeld and Anthony Kiedis lol. I don't like to talk to celebrities or ask to take pictures or autographs when I do spot them. Mark and I are like: "why? Kami man pud celebrity bah!" Bwahahahaha! It's bisaya snobbery at it's best. Gotta love it. What about you guys? Did you have any celebrity run-ins? What did you do? Apil akong mga pilipinas friends ha, whoever have ran into Mr. hotness from that tagalog movie that has this quote "you had me at my best blah blah blah" nakalimot man gud ko sa title (dili ang main character sa movie, the other guy, kinda dark and super buff)! Reply reply! I want to hear all about it.

million dollar view my ass

we did our first attempt at house hunting yesterday and i just looove how realtors fluff up their ads with words like: fantastic view of turnkey home, ready to move in, good size bedrooms! blahblahblah. so mark and i were totally crushing on this house that we saw on the internet and we finally decided to move our bums and visit the place as well as scope out the area. when we got there, i was like -- oh, it's in a ghetto part of the city! lol. and the house was on a really steep hill. which means that if flooding will occur, this house will be first on the erosion list. we hightailed out of there and i made a note of the surrounding streets so that i won't add it to my list of homes to visit. ha, i should've known not to judge the book by its cover! so real estate lesson #1 don't judge a house by curb appeal alone (as well as adobe photoshopped and masterfully staged internet photos). more real estate lessons to come [hahaha i feel like i'm on hgtv's house hunters/property virgins episode]

this is hilarious

back in my college days. i'm such a freakin nerd! lol

http://bay.sdsu.edu/dir/page.asp?LName=Flores&FName=Teresa&MI=O&Category=Alumni